Nipkowdisc reviews AWAY ALL BOATS (1956)

when I first saw this movie listed in the pages of TV Guide decades ago I thought the title was supposed to be taken in a comedic vein. like the ship in the movie was to be given a wide berth by all ships on the water because of it's ineptitude. this is one of the most rediculously overserious movies ever made. the opening narration by John McIntire who at the end is credited as 'old man' makes the movie sound like it came from the fertive mind of James Michener or Herman Wouk. this is the saga of Capt. Jeb Hawkes who wanted a battleship to command but gets the attack transport Belinda. this silly war exercise is chiefly about Jeff Chandler as Hawkes belittling everyone on board the belinda for the most trivial oversights that don't measure up to his personal standards of perfection. he decides to hone his slack crew's battle instincts by having them build a sailboat so they will hate his guts. good for morale. he holds himself apart from his officers and crew so he gets himself a monkey for companionship. LOL. there is ensign twitchell played by Don Keefer who all the sailors hate because he wants them to treat him like he's Admiral Halsey. Hawkes is so sharp he trips over a rope and nearly cracks his skull. so after a devastating kamakaze attack these poor belittled beaten down officers bust their buns to keep the belinda afloat as to not displease and disappoint their lord and master captain hawkes. the close in the sickbay is a riot. the dying Hawkes drags himself out of his bunk to the porthole to see the boats pulling the belinda to an anchorage in a tropic island group. dying he tells mcdougall (george nader) to watch out for ole beachhead belinda then he collapses backwards croaked. doc (keith andes) sez

'I guess he couldn't die until he knew his ship was safe" and then george nader as mcdougall delivers the most hilarious lines of dialogue in the whole picture...in a very hushed tone of voice he sez "He started saving her the morning he came aboard. we're all better than we thought we could be because of what he gave us..and we'll go home again because of him". oh my! quick somebody! put in captain hawkes for a sainthood for belittling his crew into an outstanding proficiency. LOL